cleaning out my conscience

by Offsite

/
  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    includes:
    1) 'cleaning out my conscience' on printed CD, in acrylic painted, offsite-handprint laden custom case, w/ track-listing insert, pinched together by gorilla glue, artwork by whichlight

    2) 'lvls may vary' , a 12-track cd including additional cuts, originally planned for, though not released on 'cleaning out my conscience,' and, in addition, *not to be released in any form other than the physical copy purchased here* . compared w/ the more thoroughly mastered and prepared COMC project, LMV includes a smattering of freestyles and throw-aways recorded between the summer of 2016 and the spring of 2017.

    + a 'mind-scrap' , a random scribbled thought from offsite's personal "golden chest," a collection of multiple years-worth of caught thoughts scribbled onto any nearby medium (e.g. napkins, students' receipts, fliers, etc.)

    Includes unlimited streaming of cleaning out my conscience via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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about

to be very blunt: a close friend killed himself on may 17, 2017. there was no ambivalence in his action. may 17 was the day he decided to die.

his death inadvertently resulted in my own existential obliteration. never having personally dealt w/ grief of this stature, i continue to find that all 'solutions' feel entirely temporary, & perhaps more distraction than anything else.

i find myself now, vry selfishly, at the cost of many of my relationships, trapped inside my room. the only thing that seems to have any value is going thru hundreds of hours of scraps and recordings i've poured my soul into over the past year laying dormant on my hard drive.

'cleaning out my conscience' is a 19 track mixtape .. some of the pieces are incomplete scraps i'd recorded quickly as demos in order to later recall the idea; others are more polished. some of the production comes from longtime collaborator & friend, grandmaster hex, some are rips from other producers. the common denominator rests in the fact that each beat was written over in a time of dire need.

to be certain: the creation of each track offered a refuge i slipped inside of in order to escape (to transmute?) a more stark/overwhelming emotion.

i've now somehow succeeded in convincing myself that, by completing this tape i'll somehow regain a form of sanity, maybe capping off an overall emotionally destructive year. maybe i'll leave my room after all.

~ offsite

credits

released July 31, 2017

recorded, mastered, arranged, & written by offsite
artwork by whichlight (whichlight.com)

---------------------------------------------------

*** many of these beats were ripped w/out permission from their respective producers; while i don't condone the practice, the purpose of this project was to display various sets of emotions as they were captured in their original form. oftentimes, in a particular pit, these beats were my saving grace. therefore, links to the original material is included in each instance. if the music heals you as it has healed me, i implore you to delve deeper into these producers' catalogues.

production credits for 'cleaning out my conscience':

1. the whipping boy - hex

2. things an android wouldn't do - hex

3. one for dunzo - emapea rip
('laka' ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dEvh3afEqE)

4. break up song - hex

5. feel better (interlude) - hex

6. blood doll - prod. dunzo
(dunzoknows.bandcamp.com)

7. downer - a l e x rip
('don't die' ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei_x4OfqeTU)

8. +/- - Alex. rip
('hope.' ~ soundcloud.com/alex-simsky/hope)

9. demongo rants (interlude) - hex

10. planet of the apes - j^p^n rip
('repent. []' ~ 3333.bandcamp.com/track/repent)

11. stoned apologies - hex

12. tony clifton's bow tie - hex

13. roses are red - bsd.u rip / msdsgn rip
('the grind' ~ soundcloud.com/inneroceanrecords/bsd-u-the-grind)
('almost decent' ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6yBTHUaohs)

14. friends once (interlude) - hex

15. oak hill jade - j^p^n rip
('kings. []' ~ everydejavu.bandcamp.com/track/kings-2)

16. thru the gorge - hex

17. the red-eye - borealism
('awyfrmu' ~ soundcloud.com/bloglin/borealism-awyfrmu-sleep)

18. trust issues - hex

19. this must be the place (naive melody) - hex

---------------------------------------------------

production credits for 'cleaning out my conscience: leftovers' :

1. calm and collected - hex

2. oak hill jade (ode to bod) - hex

3. late for the cotton exchange - hex

4. moon room sessions - prod. tony tambien
(soundcloud.com/tonytambien)

5. dabble w/ dark in merriment - mndsgn rip
(from 'bed' mixtape ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxdX2TRjIQE&t=1026s)

6. the far star (rip hober mallow) - mndsgn rip
(parts taken from both 'frugal earth vol. two - side a' & 'greendowns wit 0.' ~ freshselects.bandcamp.com/album/breatharian)

7. friends once - hex

8. usa - SwuM. x shamana rip
('bitchu' ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiXNyt4K3ls)

9. REJECT x EXPLICIT - prod. moises
(soundcloud.com/moiseskings)

10. technolorgasm - hex

11. garbage scrap (freestyle) - hex

12. vibe w/ me - hex

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Shipping and returns

Track Name: the whipping boy
Master Houdini
After half a who-dun-it
I posit the doubtful bout
Pulled out in the candid of public
I * know the way
When those pressures get stowed away
& the woes of depression get pulled away
And the mind in its overdrive mode in the Lotus breaks
Down, gets Loaded up, towed away
Potholes
Disguised as factoids
Snapple capped,
reads "you need this"
The muscle man in the magazine
w/ abdominal glean
speaks, "you could be this"
And you could be anything
And you wanna be anyone
Other than yourself
Rotate out like skin cells or red in the setting sun

hook x 2:

You gave me a dream and I'm grateful
Played all the right scenes
Been a knight, been a king, and
I ain't been awake for
I guess I can't remember that
I guess that I've been holed up
In a castle in the sky
Turned upside down
That crashed out in the Doldrums

*Halos
Dr. Jung with the Dr. Grabow
Lot of room and a lot of rainbows
Not a clue and that's not an problem
Store my jewels 'mongst the Gringot's goblins
To *withdraw
No lows or pitfalls
Ditched all
Smartphone phones and missed calls
Just essence
Getting lost in a bunch of light--
Last night--
Bought a Golden Compass and a subtle knife
What a life
Or a half a life maybe.
Something's not eright with the candle light lately
Summer's goner past & the dandelion's graying
And the smile that was plastered on tight is now waning
There's the *baby
And what used to be a marriage
[Used to be ]
Now it's carried like another task
And I swear that we used to have a carriage
[Used to have]
Now I'm staring at a pumpkin patch

hook x 2
Track Name: things an android wouldn't do
Fat *beats
I break those
Take those
Stack 'em up
Case closed
God damnitt
I'm a creature of habit
The Far Star's
The space shuttle I landed
Just to see your struggle and to try to understand it
If your *black or white skinned,
Grown man or high school kid
I hear you
Feel you
& wanna heal too
And want him to heal
And want her to heal
And I'm scheming up a doctrine for the world to heal
@First feel
Everybody sink in
Fuck your Facebook newsfeed and your Linkedin
Nah
Sink in
I'm acquiring *finer tastes
Requiring higher states
Designing my mind into a fine estate
Equestrian
w/ the black & white steeds tamed
Who won't step around behind backs
To puff and heave blame
Love the *mean game
The nice game
The stone cold as ice game
Tryna find fame
Is a lost cause
I find lame
@Gyrate the
Time table
Keep the mind stable
Wanna unwind?
Fine, lime rind the libation'n
Lie vacant
Make the void my patient
Nursing it,
w/ much less rehearsin' than
A 2nd city sketcha comedy
Or colin mochery
My life is now a mockery
Of how they say I ought to be
Marauding the economy
Clawing [atop] Milwaukee streets'n
robbing Potawatomi slot machines
As hobby
On a mission
Rolling green releasing low emissions--
'n holy scriptures
Knocking on your door (2) like Jehoves Witness
Merry christmas from
Kris Kringle + St. Nik'las
@Hear first
Baulk never
Talks clever
take the long way around the block
let your thoughts weather &
Wane
Get in tune w/ your weather vane
Feel more
To heal more
Than health care can pay for--
Take your time w/ meals more (uh)
Make your mind go white more (uh)
Write more (uh)
Redefine the real lore they keel for (uh)
I don't have a *career path
i'm pure trash
To sheer stats beaurocrats
my 'clear track' remains open like
Beer tabs
A melancholic soul left timon like merecat
A mere cat
In these dog-eat-dog streets
Yet sweet and smooth like
Snoop doggy dog treats
Yet nawt from long beach
I walk milwaukee
Yet nawt from long beach
I walk milwaukee
Track Name: one for dunzo
I've *got a lot of youth yet
not a sleuth yet
Walk in tube socks
In a two step
Who have you met
they're your assets your currency
Who stand relaxed when you get blasted in furnace heat
Assurances
When you hadn't had insurance
But you'd like to file claim marked urgent

@Leave the prudence
be a student
for a minute
you're dismissive
but it's
Possible you'd do it if you listened
Or happened on reflection
Check in like Ovechkin then correcting
Erecting new stencils to invest in
Take a step'n
Pitfall if it's next in-
gesting
Hydrangea aroma
Put the sad boy in a self-induced coma
Mama told ya
If it's not w/ positivity
Then it isn't worth a sliver's worth of bark from the Giving Tree
Track Name: break up song
I *knew that we were trying something
New
I was on board with that
Monogamy was suffocating
Both of us was bored of that
So we began exploring at
A pace a little hasty
My baby got an appetite &
Patience wasn't tasty
I spoke my mind
Less than I'd've liked
You just seemed so confident
I felt you'd kept us both in mind
So I kept pouring thesey
"yes"'s out like wine you scored for free
Until priorities of yours
Were meaning more than me
And you've got *lots of love to give
Found my portion getting smaller
Maybe I was needy
Maybe I shouldn't have called her
When I wasn't feeling beautiful
Guess she didn't want the boy
Who bites his nails to the cuticles
But baby that's a part of me
Taking that apart from me's
Framing up a painting that's as fake as plastic arteries'n
I can hardly breath
I can hardly breath
Maybe wasn't smart of me
To put my heart in charge of me

hook:

You *used to be the chorus of my love songs
But now you're just the chorus of my break UP songs
But I guess that how that goes
I guess nothing's set in stone

You used to treat me like a man of magic
But lately I've been feeling like your taking me for granted
But I guess that how that goes
No hard feelings that's for sure sure
Track Name: blood doll
@we've got the same hair
both ride skateboards
Both like rice w/ chopsticks'n
Hate forks (oh)
you bought kicks
w/ the star on the side (surpised voice)
How many pairs do you got?
I got five.
Or maybe like
Six or seven
Been buyin' since I was like
Ten, eleven
Oh?
you like Lupe too?
Food & Liquor's my shit
But I like the Cool too
@Did I mention you went to the same school?
@As my cousin he said that he loves you
In fact,
Have I met you?
let me hug you--
I can't put a finger on it come on let me touch you
@Let's get together you say that you write too?
I'ma write you,
could I spend the night dude?--
Iss like you're inside me
Feel like I'm inside you
Bet your type B,
prefer nighttime, and like Whose
Line is it Anyway, true?

hook:

*I'm not tryna be
Mean
But I don't fuck w/ you
Like that
No, no




@Dope
@I studied Schop too
Thx for the shower
I buy hemp soap too
Who's that tall guy
you're living next door to? --
liked your instagram post
w/ him you both rule
I *bet I'd get along
w/ you and your whole crew?
Starcraft 2?--
I bet that I'd smoke you w/ protoss
You smoke too?
Mind if I . O. U.
@Pack the bowl, I'm tryna get stoned dude
Oh
I noticed this the last pabst too
It's straight, for sho
But I [usually] have two
Really? You're watching Samurai Jack 2?
Nihongo shabareru? Yappari ! Nihonshu
Ga dai suki?
Suki mo? Mochiron, you-
Prolly *quote Mononoke and To-to-ro too!
Woa
@ I feel like our soul's fused
Like saiyan Gotenks
I feel like I know you

hook x 2

Tho it's none of my business
who's on the phone boo?
Oh? Who?
I thought that I told you
we could talk to
Whoever we want
w/ no rules
Except
If the vibe I get
Is cold,
Who?
Oh, Jess?
She's less than harmless.
Besides it's just clubs, sex,
And burlesque
Shows
You *know the scenarios you've
*Said for so long that you've been opposed to
Since *when do you
Tell me what I am supposed to
Do?
Baby come and let me hold you
What? that's ub-surd,
I don't own you.
We're polyamorous
Go do what you wont to
Hey,wait a sec,
what's with the dress shoes,
Dress shirt, neck tie, vest, and bro-fume
You plan to fuck that little tan number don't you?
I knew from the Facebook message I scrolled through.
In fact, I take back all that I told you
I do own you, say stay and you won't move--
You're my blood doll baby
My fangs they vont you
My sex slave
Texting men
While I sex you
Track Name: downer
Evaporated muscle tendons
A tendency for love's immensity
Propensity for falling noggin first
No toboggan swerrve down the ledge and he's Often so* calm
Often so tender Now he's
Fallen down below slender
Face gaunt soul sooo
un*centered
And the reason is not even tangible
Not even music can offer a hand to
Hold
Switch between predator,
*Antelope
& back again
Freddy Krueger is on the attack again
My derailer is missing in ac-uh-shin
And I forgot to pack my patch kit
My *back hurts
Got migraines
My vision's gone all sideways
Something's not quite adding up
And I'm double checking these time tables
I know I'm prone to rewrite fables
Romantic's curse
Who sorts it out but gets panicked first
The manic mind
Who finds truth but after that
Can't unwind
Young pantomime
Loving for her and forgetting myself
That's the logic of blockbusters
How come I'm feeling so lackluster?
And my heart is woven in knot clusters?
And I'm knocked down
I tell myself I'll get up again
But my body functions get shot down
Track Name: +/-
Yesterday felt sorta endless huh?
Today's feeling long too
You felt you entered with good intentions, but then through close inspection, feel you entered with the wrong you
Cuz you feel so correctable, huh?
Like it's only ever half the story.
Like it's only out of choice that when your actions are reactive the result is bad habit forming
Hello
I'm your favorite excuse
A lack of inspiration,
Rain,
chain or a noose
the payment overdue
On the apartment overpriced
With no degree in sight
And with a brain too old for school
A fool
To think it's over when the @
First quarter
Is winding down
And your hosting a
Bench warmer
that's only been watching up until now'n
His thirsts swarming
Chomping at the bit
For a grip of that
Orange spalding
Cuz Walden's not a reread
Anyway
Cuz Walden's not a reread
Anyway
CC me
In fact skip the whole e-mail
I don't need attachments of your treasure trail--
I don't need the specks on the direction that your vessel
Sails on
Feeling clever taking credit when it's heads or tails, honestly--
I'm hoping that my lesser man perishes
And my third eye spotlights all the garishness
I hope convictioooon
isn't just another parlor trick'n
All
This patience
Leads to marriage
With the trinity,
Divinity'n locution from the parishes

Ride around
Ride around
Ride around
Skid
Life is bliss
If you control minus
Skyscraper vision
Skyscraper lifted
Back and back
Till it all looks sick


it's like
*When you pull the power out the
Braindead megaphone
And every 'bottom out'
Becomes a stepping stone
@The skill tree
Feels filthy
Advanced
As the *past keeps wilting
It's building a new stance
I'm sewing quilts
Out of past half-men--
Back when
A cold guilt
Had me last breath dim
@But every woe
Is just a *building block
So
My ability is really
Just a million flops
Moulded
Into *temperance,
Resilience,
And hilly tops
Bull
Dozered
[top]
Now I *navigate
Lows
Like I'm Tank & Dozer
Hashtag sojourn
Last name kosher
*First name steady
Birth date still pending--
letting girth stay stretching
Getting Earth equator
Massive
Once you've found the arsenal of questions
You should ask with
What protects the answers
But fear & laziness
*Once you've touched Death
What does hastiness
Have to hold on to
Who has holds on you?
When your *will's got the pull of a whole monsoon?
Track Name: planet of the apes
???
Track Name: stoned apologies
Did you do it for the *art
Or was the art only a part of it
What's the use of marksmanship
w/out honing a target in?
What's the point of friendship
If it bends until it's broken?
the pointing of a finger
If the goal is out of focus?
*Juggling emotions
Till the wrist wobble
And lose it
The truth is only known
When we get swallowed in ruin--
When the house of cards crashes
Laying flat on a mattress
Staring through the mirror at a reflection
And the voids massive
@Avoid tragic
And you bottle up a bomb
The timer ticks silent
Going off, when you're feeling on
Showing off
Till your older
'n then it's over, huh?
The gluttony of
Pride beating in younger mes
*Luckily eventually
That bridge becomes london
And all the worry[2]
That had[2] your heart pumping was nothing
And all your spells of aTTRAction no longer function
[Sitting] alone at luncheons is no longer done willingly
Filling these
Gaps becomes
Somewhat of a task

[midwestern Dad talks]

You never *asked for it
But picked pass
When your lap was a mat for it
And let time do the talking
You felt fine
till it winded down
Abruptly
And turned your body,@ bag,
Making way for the punching
*Something so serious
Taken lightly and loosely
Mind misdirected
Outside lighting a loosie--
"never wanted this to happen"--
Fell @ flat as a doozie
Regrets of how you acted
Bubble up like a jacuzzi
*Prince charming
Prince of heart-harming,
Destruction
*Who pressed the right buttons
'n died under the suction
Of the *situation
@pressure banging
And he couldn't take it--
Making these excuses
A refusal that he could've made it
@Better
Forever claiming that he's clever
I *guess that was an off week
hot seat, [burning] him awfully
Haughty
And then alone again
w/ a phone'n yet
Unable to phone a friend
Track Name: tony clifton's bow tie
hook:

Smoking cigarrettes to lay back like I am a gurney
Andy Kaufman died of lung cancer in his early 30s
You've got a clock
That you don't know a whole lot about
But still run your mouth like a professor on the art of hurting
Harping from an armchair til we're hard of hearing
The God-fearing argument is hardly working
You've got a clock
That you don't know a whole lot about
But still run your mouth like a professor on the art of hurting
like a professor on the art of hurting
like a professor on the art of hurting


The mic's a crook and Im a shepherd who's a bard of herding
The Alchemist the lone lark with its arms unfurling
Your man said you couldn't and you lost your groove
Hands on the sticks but you're shooken and forgot the moves
In my mind
Recesses are a plenty vault
And recess is playing tether ball with a metronome
The outer rim rusts like a metal wheel
So of the lust-directed sex appeal skeptical's
The disposition
Don't remiss the intuition
Motion picture's a distraction
Soul's hidden in the intermission
The body finishes the coalition
So grow dismissive of the Benz with remote ignition
Grow indifferent like a Hampsterdam prohibition
And cold shoulder non-go getter toads who don't know the mission
Hold the torch, Prometheus in the old Olympics
Let go of sprinting, marathon the road go the distance
The Emerald don't [gotta be] told so to know it glistens
Soak the kitchen in midnight oil [enough] to roast a chicken
Pack a punch like Diddy Kong when someone's stolen Dixie
Flow like cascades in Misty mountains or Cerulean city

hook
Track Name: roses are red
He *made a start
At playing hard'n
Then it fell apart
*Soft hearts
imitate Bonaparte'n
get blown apart
To *smithereens
The inbetweens
And flip-floppers
Who fit awkward
w/ calico curiosity'n
fickle dreams
*Mr. Clean
@Fronts
Until the mana's @up
spells expelled
Sit still it's time to man @up
*searching
Lured by life's numerous workings
Majestic pasture
Capturing attention
Till the Duty's shirked'n
*Duly folded'n
Til your foolishness
Is truly bloated
*2D vision
@stuck on a fin in a platoon of fishes
The mood emissions
Long removed swoop in
Droopin' feelings
Whoopty whoop
Who's him?

---

We were *thick as thieves
She was into me
And I was into her
I liked her confidence
She said
I made a proper listener
She liked to vent
I liked to make pretend we had it figured out
That I'd proposed w/ gold
Before she'd even stuck her finger out
The day dreaming
We liked late sleeping and morning sex--
She taught another man to stretch
In his apartment
he was sore she said
I said, "allowed"
I tended toward giving the benefit of doubt
My homies always told me
I might benefit from getting out
But *fuck 'em
Slowly I could
No longer trust 'em
They were envious
And saw I saw what heaven is
And they were nothing standing next to it
I'd been as dead as igneous
She raised me up like Lazarus
She used me
I mean used to say that I was talented
And said what she did wasn't cheating because
We were polyamorous--
*I'll admit
I felt a bit uncomfortable
& sad be--
Cuz we hadn't sexed for weeks
Then suddenly he's making love to you
But look what love can do?
I forgive you and believe you.
I can see you.
And if you hurt me then you didn't mean to.
Besides,
you find I'm highly sensitive sometimes
And since you know what's best for me
I let it slide and
set it all aside
And sigh
Track Name: oak hill jade
it's a game of
@input and output
And redirecting the outlook
Considering alternatives to the bargain that faust took
Wow
God dammit i'm feeling hot
Driving through cemeteries
N staring at what i'm not
Ima
Soul explorer
Who synthesizes forgotten lore
picking fights with demons
And Lifting his nikes off the floor
The demon slayer
w/ a Libra air beaming
& You might've seen him
Biking cross milwaukee in a stream of hair--
You* mighta had a conversation'n felt that he really cared
w/ ears like the eyes of a falcon
The boy can really hear
All sides of the story
And pair the opposites
Compiling opinions
And keeping sources anonymous
Lobotomize to optimize
optic nerves an optometrist
@ Draining filters
Of bias
@Depolarizing
The piousness of the ego
Liken him to the equal--
Izer who gets wiser (mis-rapped as "wider")
By widening his pineal
@Decalcifying
And deifying his evils--
Redefining the darkness as part and parcel to the hand that feeds you
And if you need to
Allow yourself another redo
Stumbling's [as much of the] process as when you succeed who
*Ever wants to grab it
Can grab it
@First by planning tactics
Then by dipping hand in paint
And splattering the canvas
Next you demonstrate your flexible as
Acrobatics
So if something happens
Unexpected you can take an action
And make a mistake into a lecture
On reshaping habits
From@ impasses into exercises
Unimagined

---

freestyle
Track Name: mr. L
Trapped inside a *contradiction
Stuck second-guessing like an adolescent
Like the Batmobile's busted when I'm on a mission
Keep hearing mumbles from my self to switch up positions
And feeling vibes from all around that merely love's sufficient
Well,
Simply put
My mother said that I was only one inside the crib she put
Laying round for hours
w/out a single noise
A baby boy from the void
Landscapes deployed
*walk
There's the alphabet
Peer pressure and calculus
Grown ups using children
As scapegoats for the hell they're in
Thus,
A childhood ends
And then the hell begins'n
We grow up using children
As scapegoats
Like the tape's broke
Like everything new and fandangled
Is age old
And drones
Are as much a solution
As distribution
Of chromebooks
To high school students
Who go and use 'em
For flash games
w/ hand grenades
@ Because it's cool to be
*Foolish
So there's the question:
How's she s'posed to love herself
Standing in her pajamas?
In front of the bathroom
Mirror
w/ tooth brushing
Scrubbing for a truth
There's a hunch that she knew something
In a *past life
Something bout beings who cast light
Something bout infinite potential
As present in all
How men and material are destined to fall
How in the low vibrations of night
Destiny calls
@ who could've taught her
When her father saw a daughter
As a target and he had to guard her?
@ who could've told her
When her mother laid the burden
Of age on her before she was older
Track Name: thru the gorge
???
Track Name: the red-eye (interlude)
i can see just fine w/out you in fact
this the sort of distance that makes me doubt you in fact
i just want out without you intact
mind over body and soul before flesh
Track Name: trust issues
I've got a problem with influence
See a thing I like and I might just turn into it
Inuit, move back to the feels
Angst nipping at my heels again
If I had a wheelbarrel I could wheel it then
Staring at the dealer like "could you deal me in?"
Turn a 7-2 offsuit into an all in
Hi (delayed)
It's mr. gone often
Only share thoughts w/ the ball point pen
Destined to peer deeper
Than the morlocks and Lynch creepers
Burn em out like 106 fevers
In an onsen
I don't want my foes dead
Wanna telephone them
Like they're old friends
If we got an issue
Know I never meant to diss you
And I just miss you
Homie
Make phony homey
Meditate on a futon
eating macaroni
unabashed
Uncultivated
Bastard ronin
Who took 25 years just to
Master lonely
1:03
Who's just graduated
From cats w/ a lack of imagination
Infatuated
w/ the dangerous and risky
And never needing you to miss me

Straight and narrow that's the credo now
Weedle down
Remain stable and absorb it all
A forest in a rainstorm
You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things
Track Name: this must be the face (naive melody)
It was *magic at nomad
sex on the beach
It was sand in her cheeks
It was texts on repeat
It was sex on the bed
wet on the sheets
It was pregnancy tests
Til she bled on the sheets
Relief
It was weed
It was laughter
Love at first sight
It was love after
It was trust---
Never tryin to put one past her'n
Relax her
When her head hurts--
yessir
*Norton Jester
Read aloud after breakfast
never netflix
Cuz no internet connection
Never checklists
It was breath after breath it
Was endless
It was grateful
It was red potatoes
runny egg yolks
Shower-sung fables
And cummed navels
Feng shui arranged front tables
Locked entrance
Duck 'round and hop fences
Defenseless,
tense-less in both senses

hook:
i can see me now
see myself
i can be myself
right when you say my name, name

x2

Oblique strategies
Stretching her obliques
We don't need a time machine the moment is unique
Sacrifice critiques
Reaping silence like a thief
Breath baby, breath
Baby, baby, baby breath
You & *me
make a force field
Reading morse code
In the goose bumps
On her dorsal
Kiss the torso
We could make a milli off a porno
We could teach the kama sutra with a heavy course load
No
Wayyy
My baby's never NOT naked
Check her spots
Make it so they've never GOT vacant
MaraTHON pace it'n
We make it work (so to never not make it work)
'Hit it in the morning'
So she's never NOT late for work
@Tick to our own clock
Clothes shop
At value village
Valium spillage over
Palaver
Let her battle first
Until she asks for my assistance--
If they cross the line backer
Urlacher & go ballistic

hook

Ghost I'm Patrick Shwayze
Thought she was your lady
But you just tryna hit the labia--
I'm tryna make a baby
Or maybe six of 'em like Mrs. Brady
You plan on calling her tomorrow maybe
I plan on celebrating
@The day she's turning 80
Get the painting
Even w/ a cane hand & foot waiting
Gobbledygook to others
Wobble-d-Wobbling bodies
Fondle like gynacolOgy
Watch as we toggle these hotkeys'n
'flex our chakras'n
Etsy-order potara--
Earrings
Nearing
Neptune aborting samsaric --
Cycles
Ride along Lyon by
biCYCLE
The cinephiles
Who watch a movie then forget the title